i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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