just come out here and I will go home with you...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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