She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
