My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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