There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
