Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
