Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
