More tranny stories later!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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