When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize