I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
