You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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