those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
