She said her name was "party"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
