First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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