Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
