My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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