Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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