# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
