if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
