I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
