waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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