Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
