When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
