She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
