I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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