she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
