I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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