In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
