Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
