4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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