1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
