problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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