Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
