im having a threesome with these popsicles
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
