I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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