Your face is a jimmy john
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
