put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
