We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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