I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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