Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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