i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
