Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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