Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
