Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think i peed on brittanys purse
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
