I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
