Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
