i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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