Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
