I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
