on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
