the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
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