shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
