Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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