Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
