My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
