That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
