apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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