I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it hurts more in the daytime
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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