i don't like sucking hair
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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